另類報復?英國婦女寫部落格記錄老公夢話

另類報復?英國婦女寫部落格記錄老公夢話

如果說日有所思,所以夜有所夢,那麼半夜說的夢話,可以算是人心裡面的真心話嗎?

一名英國婦女Karen從一年多前起,因為被丈夫的夢話吵得睡不著覺(誤),所以決定把他的夢話紀錄下來,當作和朋友間的玩笑話,甚至在兩個月前,開了一個名為「Sleeping Talking Man」的部落格,結果廣受歡迎,當然,很有良心的她,並不打算辭掉白天的正職,改行用老公的夢話出書或拍成電視電影賺錢,她只計畫把一些經典名句印在T-shirt上,好補貼一點安眠藥錢(誤)。

以下是十句經典Karen老公匪夷所思的夢話:
10. 我還不想死!我愛做愛!還有那些毛茸茸的動物!(I don't want to die! I love sex. And furry animals.)

9. 不是我變胖,是你的眼睛胖了!(I haven't put on weight. Your eyes are fat.)

8. 我比超人還厲害,他只不過是個穿著內褲的王八蛋!(I'm better than Superman. He's just a c**t ... in underpants.)

7. 別把鴨子留在那邊,那太不負責任了,把牠放到鞦韆上,那可有趣多了!(Don't leave the duck there. It's totally irresponsible. Put it on the swing, it'll have much more fun.)

6. 我小弟弟好癢喔!你可以幫我拿起司刨嗎?(Ooh! My balls are itchy. Have you got the cheese grater?)

5. 我有一隻獾、一隻狗、一隻貓和一個袋子,我什麼都有了,你還不快滾!(I've got a badger, a dog, a cat and a sack. Now that I've got 'em, you can f**k off.)

4. 既生我,何生上帝?(I can't believe in God when I'm THIS good!)

3. 鱷梨?你可以拿去塞你的屁眼!(Avocados? You can shove them up your ass as well.)

2. 誰准你穿我的內褲?還不趕快脫掉!還不趕快從你的臉脫掉!(Since when did my underwear look good on you? Take it off. Take it off your face.)

1. 吸血鬼企鵝?殭屍天竺鼠?我們完了...我們完了...(Vampire penguins? Zombie guinea pigs? We're done for ... done for.)


是說......看完了以上的來自部落格的夢話摘選,咱們可以確定的是,睡覺時講的話絕對是沒有意義的屁話!



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